The Guilt

So I have started asking around to folks who have 2 under 2 or roughly around that time frame and ask if they have guilt over having a second child so quickly because let me tell you...2.5 seconds after I got over the shock and became happy I immediately felt sadness and guilt in my heart for Ava. She has been getting my attention sometimes literally 24/7 and don't get me wrong I always wanted to provide her with a brother or sister but so soon??? Will she feel sad like the dog? Will I not be able to love her as much, or stop and smile at her then she reciprocates, will I not be able to get down on the floor and play with her, or her watch me play a game. Will we not have that moment to touch noses and gaze into each other's eyes and right before she turns away she gives me that sly smile like "I really love you with everything mommy"....le sigh I know this guilt will pass but I worry about it.

Someone said "your love doesn't divide it multiplies" and I know it will. I am excited to give her a brother or sister because I think she'll be a wonderful big sister.

So I have decided which I should've been doing the whole time (but in my defense was so busy all these months at work and had my own app for a baby journal for Ava) but I'm going to do a weekly update of Ava on a different day so I can continue to mark her progress as well.

Of course Mr. B says we should spend the same amount on baby furniture as we did Ava and while I'm not against it geez that was 2k. It is fantastic quality though.

We did get a flier in the mail from BRU yesterday that if you bought a set on some you got the crib for free or a really nice chair/glider and ottoman for free. The price range for the free product was about 500 dollars which is nice. They now offer layaway which is great because same with the other place we wanted to pick it out and start saving but didn't have room for it until we cleared out the room.

I haven't come up with a nickname for this little one yet but that currently is our guest room so we'll have to get rid of all of that stuff and that closet was our storage closet with suite cases and all...oh boy.

I'm going to be going through a bunch of our clothes in our closet and will actually put the desk in there I think since the desk is small and we don't use it that much.