Broke Down

I broke down yesterday. As in 7 hours of breaking down. My periods coming soon and I know that will be gut wrenching coupled with Grant being gone for 3 months 

I woke up this morning feeling so defeated and sad. I'm crying again. But don't want to. Only because I have a horrible headsche from crying so much yesterday and being dehydrated. 

When I get in one of these moods I don't want to do anything. Work, clean, laundry, or even eat. 

I didn't eat last night, won't eat breakfast and probably won't eat lunch. I know I'm only hurting myself and I know it was a fluke but I almost punish myself because I was supposed to protect my son. 

My only son. Possibly forever. 

Inconsolabley heartbroken.