My little girl...

isn't so little anymore :( She rolled over at daycare yesterday. I am devestated I won't lie. We had been working with her quite a bit lately trying to get her to do it and having my iphone handy for video recording just in case. About a week ago I gave the go ahead of more tummy time at daycare (wanted to make sure she was strong enough if they couldn't keep an eye on her like I like in case they got busy with the other babies). When I came in and saw the note yesterday I started to well up. I made it to the car to call Mr. B and then cried :( Mr. B knew what I was getting at AGAIN without having to say anything at all. He didn't quite believe Ms Beth but this morning she confirmed that she was on her tummy in her crib and had her head really up high and kind of started bobbing and then BLOOP! Turned over and her eyes got real big like wtf just happened?! haha I called Mr. B on the way to work to confirm and he said "well when she does it at home it'll bet he first time for us and I'm sure there will be plenty of firsts that we get to see that Ms. Beth doesn't" ummm dude we ARE supposed to see first. I'm sure Ms. Beth likes to see them but she doesn't care that much about our child haha And I know it happened so it won't be a first and she said she didn't have to let me know if I didn't want her to and another friend of mine who worked at a daycare said the same thing and I said NOWAY...that's cheating Ava. I am not a one upper as far as milestones because all babies develop differently and even though we wanted her to roll over it wasn't this huge deal to us and reading that others hadn't yet made me fine with it. But BUT if she does I WANT to know to celebrate with her and be proud of her! If she doesn't do it for another 2-3 weeks at home that'll be fine but I wouldn't have wanted to think she did it just then when she's doing it at daycare because even though she doesn't know it I'm not going to take that away from her no matter how sad I get. So with all of this I'm really starting to think my hair falling out is stress/anxiety related now. It may have started with the stuff I listed but it's been over a month and nothing is giving. And even though I'm not depressed (except for not spending more time with Ava) I maybe a little anxious about it (although I'm not going to get on medication...one I'm breast feeding and two I don't think I NEED NEED it...and I would admit if I did) and the stress of my shitty job and stress over leaving her. I've been carrying around a 15lb bag of guilt ....and by the way now up to 16lbs folks haha so of course I was going to talk to my obgyn about it anyways but I'm going to ask what she thinks. Not that, that would change Mr. B's mind...but you never know. All I know is after I found out the way my new supervisor talked to another co-worker that does my job in another city she would have had to fill one more position on Saturday had it been me on that other end of the line because I wouldn't have been treated that way. These people here are out the box and really better watch themselves because I can tell you it won't take a lot to push me over the edge and be gone. I am looking looking but can't find anything closer to the daycare/home/at least the area let alone see what it'll pay. But I WILL NOT give up on my ultimate goal....noway jose

Gymboree Fun and Learn

or whatever it's called. I signed up for Ava and I to got his coming Saturday since Mr. B will be golfing. I figured that was something fun that could get us out of the house and something great for Ava. Has anyone done it yet? I saw how they say they allocate time to have parent discussion or something and honestly I am social I promise you but not in that kind of forced on setting. My idea of fun and learning about my baby isn't with some uppity upscale women (which where this place is located will definitely have those) I mean I'm already worried about what I should wear and having to blow dry and flat iron my hair haha. So can anyone tell me if you have to stay for that? If it was well worth it? Was it awkward? Or am I over analyzing? I tell you I like not getting a period but at the same time don't because I have no idea if I could possibly be pregnant. I was having cramps but not AF cramps, boobs were hurting off and on but I BF so I'm not even thinking of that one. Peeing more than normal but I'm drinking more water for BF'ing but until a couple of days ago I haven't pee'd as much as recently. And I'm like whatever it is what it is but today I started to feel not so good when I hadn't eaten my breakfast yet and then it didn't go away...it felt like MS not the flu. It kind of lingered and went away this afternoon and I just ate some cake and immediately could've gotten sick if I were in the bathroom but just relaxed myself. But I could just be getting a bug. I did test at lunch and it was negative although not sure 1. not morning pee and 2. maybe too soon or 3. not pregs haha So this is when getting a period would be a little more helpful because I'm just going off of a date of conception. Maybe I'm psycho somatic and thinking of symptoms....oh well But what I do know is if I'm not then I'm going to be seriously job hunting. I can't stand this place any longer. They don't treat us right and especially how another one of me was treated this weekend it's ridiculous. My dilemma is there are jobs to be had however I need something closer to the town we live in at least not further away and I won't budge on that. I sent my resume to a part time legit work from home and I did get an email saying they got it but who knows if I'll hear back or not. If I got pregnant now or in a month I would stick it out until a couple of weeks before the birth most likely but if not then I don't want to and I really really would love a p/t stay at home gig that makes up the difference of what I make vs paying for daycare now. We'll see but please be sending those vibes out.

Let me tell you about...

Breast Feeding.

I love it I really do and I should say I'm not here to talk about Breast Feeding but the damn pump.

I have to pump at work obviously to keep up my milk supply and pump for Ava for daycare.

I'm so behind I pump for the next day. My stash is all gone so I could never go anywhere out and about for longer than an hour just to be on the safe side. Yes generally she eats every 3 hours but I don't take any chances with the poor soul that's left behind.

So I pump at 10 and then I pump at 1. And I get anywhere from 4oz on a bad session to 7 on a great session.

Most of the time I get about 11-11.5 so I have to of course pump at home after she's down. I normally wait about an hour to make sure after feeding the piglet (said with love of course) twice once she gets home that I'd have enough.

And each stinking time I have to clean and dry...well I can let them sit out at home but at work I can't have the stuff chilling in the breakroom...it's a pain in the ass to clean quickly by the way. Well really just the one part but I digress.

But today folks....oh today....I pumped for Monday the entire 13.5oz I need yahoooooo!

You just don't know how excited I am because since we've bumped her to 4.5oz I've never been able to pump for the next day while at work. And actually I think it's more like 14.

But I will still pump tonight to start my stash. I was able to keep one bag since I pumped both times but picked her up before her 3:30 eating when I took her to the doc.

I'm going to need about 20oz for the weekend for the Super Fest if I do both days. So yah I still have about 16 more oz to go so any extra always helps.

Anyways just wanted to share my excitement...oh the little things once you become a mommy haha

Doctor's Visit

Well it's not in her chest whoot whoot!

It's just mucus in her throat and of course since she's 4.5 months she doesn't know how to get it out poor thing.

So the bark is bigger than the bite if you will.

However if she gets a fever or we hear/feel vibration in her chest we need to bring her in but again my doc is pretty conservative when it comes to meds so she didn't want to start on antibiotics if it wasn't completely necessary and I agree.

So she recommended Dimatapp that has Benedryl in it which may help her sleep better too...it's daytime though because nighttime would apparently knock her out and we don't want that especially during the day.

So last night I went to try and give it to her and did the trick of blowing a little in her face...her face was hilarious! Every time I did it her eyes would get as big as a deer's in headlights haha

She did swallow it all though....didn't help a ton for sleep because she kept waking up with the coughing but Rome wasn't built in a day right?!

Now this morning she wakes up at like 6:20...she can't get comfy and of course my alarm is to go off at 6:25 and even though it's 5 minutes every minute counts now with this girl so I wish I could've gotten that sleep. Anywho by the time I have to get up she's back asleep....go figure

And is knocked out. I get ready and I hear her rustling around but her eyes are closed so I'm sure she could've gotten herself back to sleep but I had waited as long as I could so I gave her a little kissy on her hand and she was in a fog but opened her eyes half way and saw I was there and immediately put on the biggest grin. I love how she always wakes up so happy!

She however did not want the medicine today and has already outsmarted me on this whole blowing in her face thing because she took that like a champ without swallowing oy vey

But since the night is always worse I will be happy if we can at least successfully get her to take it at night.

I'm going to do the saline drops in her nose tonight and hopefully suck out some more junk.

I'm just happy it's not too serious and hopefully she has a speedy recovery!

My Poor Little Cherub

I think she's getting worse :(

She didn't make it that long in her bed last night. She did decent in the pack n play but I guess around 1ish I put her in bed with me and gave her Mr. B's area since he's oot. She did ok until 3 and she must have felt miserable because for an hour she tossed and turned on me....poor thing.

Her coughing got worse and it sounded bronchilar to me. I had the cool mist humidifier on but that didn't do much.

This morning of course when it was time to get up she was out like a light with both arms out creating a T...it was so cute.

I waited as long as I could and was just going to change her diaper but she did wake up all smiley as usual.

I put some Triaminic on my finger a couple of times and she let me put that in her mouth but who really knows how much got down her throat.

I put her in baby legs and like clock work I get her to daycare and get ready to pull her out and she pooped through again! This time just a tiny dot on them but the other day was the same as the first time everywhere.

I'm wondering if the elastic on her thighs is hitting a pressure point that relaxes and releases if you know what I mean haha

I was able to save them for at least her to wear this morning.

I called the doctors office to say hey she's not taking the Triaminic and I don't know what to do if I should bring her in or wait it out so a nurse will be calling me back.

If I had to guess they're going to have me do some breathing treatments with her. Poor little Cherub.

And I'm siging up with a company called VOT they do a ton of legite work from home stuff but the only thing is normally it's temp stuff. Some are temp to hire but theres a ton of stuff and most projects are 6 months long but I just don't know how Mr. B would feel about it.

I'd be looking strictly for data entry stuff because I clearly can't be taking customer service calls.
We'll see

It continues...

the lack of sleep that is.

Last night Ava sounded kind of congested (and since two boys were sick last week...one the mom was smart and pulled him out wed, thur, and fri...the other no he went on Thursday to the doc and they said he had Strep but the idiot doctor gave a note saying he could come back Friday and what do you know they brought him in)

So I tried giving her the Triaminic sp? (far to lazy to look it up) and she did NOT want to swallow it. In fact both times she held it in her mouth as long as she could and when she had to swallow she gagged herself and it came back up with some of her most recent meal while I was cupping it so it wouldn't get on her...awesome

But she was so tired and went down quite easily and actually slept better than normal and even woke up coughing once. She did 7-11. Then I brought her in and just held her a bit and put her in the pnp and she slept I think like an hour or maybe two hours??

I fed her and put her back in the pnp and I think she stayed there until 2 or 3. Honestly I can't remember but I brought her with me because she was whimpering y'all....broke.my.heart! She was even more congested so I held her where her head was more upright and I kind of slept sitting up/laying down/my neck was killing me.

She only woke up to eat at about 5:45 and then again at 6:15 when we were getting up. She still sounded bad but she was happy as ever like always.

I sucked a little out of her nose and just which she knew if she gave it a good cough and whatever you do when you have phlegm she could get some out.

I tried putting the Triaminic on my finger and putting that in her mouth....nope still not working.

I'm just worried it's in her chest and she could get pneumonia....I was in tears last night holding her as she was whimpering and coughing.

I told the teacher to watch for it and I'm going to see how she does today and make my decision on getting an appointment tomorrow or seeing how it goes.

I know they're going to say do Triaminic and that won't work so what's plan B?!

I'm going to bring in the cool mist humidifier into my room since Mr. B is oot because I know like every other night anyways she'll end up at least in the pnp and that way it's in my room so maybe that will help.

I know her room got cold too because we forgot to open it when we came to our room and the air was on so I'm sure that didn't help. I'm going to make sure it stays a little more warm tonight.

Enough of me blabbing about it.

Tired

Exhausted, Weary, Drained, Sleepy, Worn-Out....you get the picture? haha

Ava is still not sleeping well unless it's with me and even that is whatever. But with this damn time change it's even worse.

I normally get up at 6:25 and we can leave by 7 which is perfect but since the time change Ava is getting up at that time to eat because she still thinks it's her 5:30 eating session which runs me late and we get out the door 10-15 minutes later than normal.

I HATE HATE HATE waking up when it's dark. I'm sorry I'd rather have it be darker sooner at night than in the morning. They do have things called street lights and patio lights for playing or hanging out pleasure haha

So we set the pack n play back up last night in hopes that being in the same room as us will help. Honestly I hope it's the 4 month wakely but I'm worried she just wants me now...like it may have started off as that and transitioned to needing me.

She didn't nap yesterday either so she was really tired and went down without a fight around 7 and was sleeping good until about 11 which is better than it has been and I think I woke her up because I heard her rustling around in the bed and then nothing and my monitor beeped a few times so I was worried she was suffocating so I went in just at the door but had to push it a little and by the time I made it back to my bed she was up and I wanted to shoot myself.

So PNP didn't go great last night but that's going to be my goal this week. If that doesn't work we may try the carseat in her bed approach and if that doesn't work we'll buy a co-sleeper and do that and then put the co-sleeper in her bed until she doesn't need it anymore because that seems to have worked for many on the webz but we don't want to pay for anything we don't have to.

Last night was day 2 of brown rice cereal that I made with my new baby food processor. She did a tad better but is having trouble figuring it out haha which is fine. I'm not sure how much she's getting because that didn't fill her stomach up enough for a deep sleep I can assure you.

If it doesn't get better by weeks end we'll take a break from that and try it in a few weeks. I still don't feel good about it but agreed to try it out since I would make it myself.

We really haven't fooled around that much since pregnancy and we did this weekend and boy did it hurt. And then Ava started crying haha I see a lot of sprints in our future!

I have my yearly on the 18th which I'm not looking forward too....yes I know I had someone all up in my business towards the end of pregnancy and even when having her (I mean a lady shaved my lady parts before the section for crying out loud) but I just am not ready to have folks poking and prodding back in there just a few months later dang.

I hate my job folks...it's ridiculous. The new boss claimed she wasn't a micro manager and is one to a T and add in all her little quirks and thinking everything is black and white (and you should know I'm a huge rule follower and definitely like things black and white but know sometimes that's not the case) and she doesn't get it.

I'm desperately trying to find a part time stay at home solution to at least bring in some money because then I think Mr. B would go for it. Until then I'm stockpiling my check into savings so that when it's time for #2 (which I know this is crazy but I would be happy at anytime now) we can trade my car in since it's paid off and pay the rest in cash so I could stay at home in the future and not worry about a car note.

Anywho I have to go do a project on giving info on some trainings I took on what I learned and what I'd like added in the most creative way possible but DO NOT USE POWERPOINT...because that takes too long...but I've already spent a day trying to be creative without using a tool that makes creativity easy. Whatever

Hodge Podge

Ok got in the shoes and Baby Legs in of course when Mr. B got home early heh but you know what he actually liked the shoes! He didn't even look at the baby legs just a comment of "so basically they're leg warmers" well yes Mr. B to break it down...

So yesterday was Ava's 4 month check up. Things are great as usual.

15lbs 3oz
26 inches long
16.5 inch head

Up from her 3 month....
1lb 3oz
1.5 inches
.5 inches

I can't believe she's as long as she is...I guess it hasn't registered since I'm with her everyday.
The sleep thing yah still not happening and doc lady says it could be because she's hungry, could be going through a spurt, could be teething, could be congestion.

She wrote down some medicine that she liked that's a decongestant if we want to use that on particularly bad days as well as her Elephant Cool Mist Humidifier.

And gave the go ahead on solids if we want. She did say cereal but also said that if she doesn't like it to move on and either stop or try something different. Recommended veggies first just because of the sweetness in fruits but said her kids didn't like anything green and so she had to do fruits first.

She said in noway do we have to do this. And especially if it doesn't help Ava sleep any better she would recommend stopping for a couple of weeks or so.

So I do not want her to have store bought rice cereal...too much stuff in it and even the vitamins they put into it only like 8% is retained. So I bought the oatmeal one but it's just a little better.

But then I read I could make my own rice cereal from brown rice which is ideal since rice is the best as far as allergies go and she would be getting far more nutrients that way.

But then I thought do I REALLY need to do the cereal or maybe just jump to a sweet potato???

So I'm online now researching specific baby blenders and the cube trays and I'd want the single pack ones so I could take them to daycare.

You know you can get really sucked up in with folks saying "well my baby did this..or my baby eats this much"

There's a baby at daycare who just started (2.5 months) he eats 5oz every 3 hours.
Ava still doesn't do that. She eats anywhere between 4-4.5oz every 3-4 hours at daycare (always getting at least 12oz if not more).
Then eats twice before bed and of course in the middle of the night and morning.

But I could worry about am I feeding her enough but heck she gained over a pound in a month and she's not really showing signs of hunger. I'm not convinced that's her issue at night.

But we'll see.

I just booked our photography session for Ava's 6 month/Family portraits weeee! I would like to do it out at LSU's campus but depending on if it rains or it's too hot (since it will be in early May) that plan may not work. She does have a portable photography studio so she can do it at our house. We could always have her do that and then take some pictures in our back yard that show the lake...I would just have to see if she can edit out the houses.

I did it 2 days after she gets her ears pierced so hopefully she'll be fine.

Off to research more on making baby food.

Babysteals.com

I should advertise for them....(hmm I need to look into seeing if they do associate work) but today they had a playmat thingy and then I went back and checked and boom! Baby Legs! I've been wanting to get her some and even though they aren't the ones I wanted from the site (or the cheap ones I found on Amazon that carried a huge shipping tag) they are still cute.

3 pair for 16 when they normally sell for 11+ each. So hey good deal had by all.

I love that site because they usually do 3-4 different offers a day and it's a nice surprise.

Have I said lately how miserable I am here...ugh all I do is shop now.

Teething+4 Monthly Wakely=Miserable Sleep Deprived Mama

Oh yes indeed.

Saturday Ava kind of fell asleep at 7ish but then she was up (she napped late) but she was so fussy y'all. And it just kept getting worse she would NOT go to sleep and faught it...2 hours later we finally gave her a very small dose of tylonel (well a different brand that my doctor sold me that wasn't recalled) and that did NOTHING to her or to eliviate the pain which is at that time what we figured it was...teething!

She was up pretty much no lie from 8pm-4am when Mr. B finally told me to bring her in with me and then she finally slept and slept until 9am...so did I haha

I felt so bad for the poor thing.

Then we took an early nap and when she woke at about 2pm she was fussy the rest of the afternon and night and I could see the whites of her two bottom teeth.

Of course she's drooling like mad, has her hands or anything she can grab onto in her mouth at all times, wants her paci or my boob any chance she can get for sucking purposes to eliviate that pain, and will gum down on my finger if I put it in there.

Sunday was no better for sleep but I brought her in much sooner.

But Sunday she was up sooo much eating and last night she went down at 7, then up at 10:30, then up at 12:30, then up at 2:30, 3:30, 4:30, 5:30, and finally 6:30 when we got up for good. This folks is called 4 Month Wakeling and I want to shoot myself. And this can last the entire 4th month possibly into the 5th month. Up all these hours wanting to eat and she ate each time at least 2oz if not more...I don't know I tend to fall asleep haha

I really hope it gets better because I can't get up every hour and feed her and surely can't stand over a crib patting her until she fully falls asleep but I also don't want her used to sleeping with me/on me on the couch, love seat, rocker, floor, bed, on the car hah where ever seems to be pleasing her at the time.

I want my old girl back of sleeping a good 6-7 hours then up to eat and back down until 6:30 when we get up.

We have her 4 month on Friday so I'll chat with the doc about this.

I'll also be talking to her about solids. Let me say this I do not judge anyone who gives solids before me I just like my bond with her right now and if she doesn't need them I don't want to give them just yet...it's selfish I know but hey haha now if doc says she needs them I will for sure.

But I'm wondering if I can scoot past the cereal and go onto homemade food that I make...I'd feel better about it. I have read online that I can but I want to check with the pediatrician because I trust her more than the interwebs

Well I better get going on some work...here's a recent picture of my munchin

I think this one is hilarious...not sure why. I'm sure it has to do with she's my child haha

And since I can't split the other two apart....the 2nd was on Saturday when we went to visit Mike the Tiger and she was supporting the basketball and baseball team

3rd she loves Man Vs Food folks...it's scary really haha...and don't judge our recliner. It was a hand me down and so comfy. It's on the list probably for Father's Day

Hair Loss

Well I still haven't heard anything about the job...oh well. Maybe they have someone but maybe it won't work out and then they'll contact me and it'll be a big surprise to me when they do haha I'm trying to stay positive.

Well any who today on babysteals.com they had some Baby Soles Crib Shoes for 1/2 price. The one's I really wanted were already snagged up (you have to be so quick with that site) but there were some other cute ones. Now that Ava is about to be fully sitting on her own I want her to have shoes at daycare since the one little boy loves to pull her socks off and this way they can stay on and she'll have something not to get her feet dirty...I'm strange I know haha

Here they are

15 bucks normally 31. whoot

I also bought a Groupon for a Specialty Meats store here and I checked out their menu....Oh mah gah yum! Can't wait to use that sucker!

Ok so onto something serious...my hair is falling out folks. I have very thick hair and I shed a lot...like a lot I'll admit it and it always gets worse when I haven't had a cut/thin in awhile. But this is like globs coming out like when I'm done showering and squeeze out the water or when I brush my hair or when I take the pony tail holder out to redo my hair...it's scaring me

So I just got onto Mayo Clinic's site and here are some of the things it says can cause it

3-4 months after a major surgery (Makes sense being I had a c-section 4 months ago)

Post-Partum 3 months (eh this just started a week ago) however it says that once your levels get back to normal is when the hair falls out so maybe my levels are just getting back in sync

Birth Control Pills (I've been taking it for 2 cycles now but maybe it's just finally in my system enough)

So all of those could be it. I did notice it happening a little after I started drinking Mother's Milk tea so I have stopped that because I surely don't want it happening if that's it. But if it's not I'd like to go back to drinking it to help my supply. I bought Milk Thistle to help though.

I have my yearly on the 18th of this month (can not believe it's March already) and I'll definitely be asking her about it.