Tuesday, August 10, 2010

30 Day Challenge- Day 20

The Hardest Thing I've Dealt With

Honestly this is a toughy...

I would say as a decade growing up in my household which I've already touched on in another post.

The other would be domestic violence.

My ex that to this day states he loves me had been playing mind games and I don't know why I finally got the courage to leave but I did...unfortunately I was young and naive and started dating another guy right after...but he had everyone fooled not just me...we actually ended up engaged but soon after he changed and I didn't like it. It just kept getting worse so I called it off...he wanted me to keep the ring in case things worked out but I gave it to him anyways.

We had the same group of friends and it was about a week or so later where we all were at the same house partying...I wasn't really that night and in fact when the whole thing went down I was stone cold sober.

We were all sitting on the floor of the hallway chatting (not sure why there) and I was eating an Uncle Mike's sub sandwich (sounds so good right now haha).

One of our friends was videotaping all of us chatting like he had been the entire night...not sure what the convo was but he was chatting to me and my ex was trying to talk to me but I was saying something to our friend...and my ex slapped me in the face!!!! I was like "YOU DIDN'T JUST FUCKING SMACK ME?!" and of course he was like "no I didn't!" and our friend was like dude you did...and he made our friend rewind the tape to show him...however said friend was drunk so he wasn't rewinding it at all.

I had already been emotionally and mentally been abused by not only my mother but two exes so I had had enough and I went off on him....

I told him he better never lay another hand on me again...he was getting extremely mad...keep in mind we're all sitting on the floor.

Then all of a sudden he lunges at me and starts to choke me and I black out.

Next thing I remember is waking up and my roommate (who was getting it on with another guy in his room nearby haha) and him pulled back to where I was facing him but she was choking him not letting him go!

I told him that if he ever touched me again I would kill him and he was going to pay for this.

Of course he ran off and I had the guys take me back to my dorm...I had a beaded necklace on that night and I took it off and already had bruising in the forms of the different sized beads from how hard he was choking me...I mean it had to be hard in order for me to pass out.

So we called the cops and the idiot showed back up at that house and the cops arrested him and I had to go to the station to have pictures taken and they took the tape.

Luckily I didn't have to testify because the tape did the talking...the video didn't have him actually choking me but had the slap and then had what you could hear the altercation and then you could hear struggling and clearly me gasping for air.

Like an idiot him and his father showed up at my dorm room while I was at work the day of court trying to get his things...which I had already emailed him and set outside my room...too bad if someone took that nice sony tv and all those dvd's...they weren't in my possession anymore.

But my roommate called me panicking and I told her to call the case worker because I had a restraining order against him. They had told my roommate they had taken care of everything and it was settled and he had a right to his things...big lie!

So they are in court as this is going on and just so happen to get a female judge which I love....after playing the tape the judge asks the exes dad what he thought about this...and he responded "well this is college and the kids are young...I assume this happens a lot" She was furious!!!!

She let him know that NO it doesn't happen, and this is DOMESTIC VIOLENCE and when someone CHOKES someone else that is SERIOUS and there have been DEATHS over this...he shut up...

And meantime my roommate had called the case worker so she rushed into the court room like on a movie and told the judge what he had done and then she got really pissed that he had lied to my roommate and disregarded his restraining order....she gave him 90 days in jail, violence classes, and I think even alcohol classes, as well as some fines, and the restraining order I think was set for 3 years.

I saw through a site that he tried to not get jail and then missed it so ended up serving more time...loser!

Thank goodness that part of my life is over with...and that I had the sense to get out when I did because who knows what could've really happened to me if I had stayed.

Never would've thought he was the type to beat on woman at all....just goes to show you how surprising peoples true colors can really be.

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